Hi to My fears

Do you have any fears?

I have. And a lot.

I used to let these fears stop me from progressing. Simply because I'm afraid. I did realise that I can't live like this forever but I was too afraid to do things that i was afraid of.

My parents saw this weakness. They pushed us to do things we feared of. I didn't like it. I wondered why my parents were not like other parents who let their kids just be kids. I wondered if I were adopted. I wondered if they loved me. I wondered and wondered but there was no answer.

At first, life was tough for me. I had to deal with my fears, find ways to overcome them. I was in a state of uneasiness. I wanted to give up and run away and hide. I went to look for my friend "little willow tree" and told her about my problems. She listened to my sorrows quietly.

Although i feared, I continued to do something. Strangely, once i did one thing, one fear disappeared! Then I dealt with one more fear and one more disappeared! Then i realised, I actually could 'delete' my fears if I accept my flaws, face them and conquer them! Fears are like a never ending thingie. New ones will develop as time passes by. yes, God wants us to continually improve ourselves haha...

Recently, i develop a new fear. 

Fear of stepping out of the comfort zone.

Actually, it isn't so comfortable la. It's just stable.

I gave reasons and tried to procrastinate. I thought by doing so, I could avoid facing it. The problem with procrastination is that, when time is running out, you will have to pay the price!

Psk, it's finally happening. It feels unreal. Jane and my little space is now being 'created'.

I do admit, I was afraid at the beginning but now, i kinda look forward to it. 

It's a one way street. There is no turning back. I will just have to try my best to create history. Like Dr. Choong said in his GST seminar last week - You either create history or become history. It's true. We only live once this life, I might as well create history.

Yes, there are countless of people who question about our moves.

I must agree with them. 

Why is there a need to make life so busy when life is already stable?

Why is there a need to take such risk and jeopardize own future? 

Yes, I have the same doubts as them too. I guess I could either be doubtful for the rest of my life or try my very best to find answers to clear my doubts.

For now, let me just say, I was amazed at how little things i knew before, even though I've obtained a uni degree, obtained so many qualifications and knowledge in my career!  It's a shame i know. 

How foolish i was before to think that I knew how the world operated. I actually only knew how MY world operated *cover face*

I'm glad I have taken this path to an unknown future. It sure is not a breezy walk in the park, but whether it's a success story or not, at least I've given it a go. At least I have learned something different.

"If you want to conquer fear, don't sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy" - Dale Carnegie